Today I saw a lot of crows! Have I mentioned my intense love of crows? Well. I love crows. I talk to them and take pictures of them and follow them whenever I can. People usually laugh or look at me funny, but I just remind myself that they don't understand the greatness of the majestic black bird. These two specific crows were too cute in a tree, sitting together and calling out to the crow in the tree across from it. I just about had a fit over how adorable they were.
My day started with really really strange dreams, which is not extremely unusual for me. I dreamt that my mom cut her long, black luscious locks all the way to her chin. (When I told her about it, she said that is more accurately described as a nightmare.) I woke up and decided that I really wanted to cut layers in my hair. I posted on Facebook asking what my peers thought of it, even though I had basically set my mind to it anyway. As soon as I got home from class, I called the salon across the street and they had an appointment open right there and then. Sold! I ran over and chopped a ton of hair off. Usually I'd be devastated over the amount of hair on the floor, but I think the decision was so spontaneous and a much needed change, that I gladly accepted it. I love it! It seems short and way thin now, but everyone loves it, and I am way happy with it. My hair can hold curl again! Super fun and bouncy and light and different. I'm so excited to play with it! I'm excited. Here is a picture of it:
Today in my foundations capstone class, we had a case scenario that we had to discuss regarding pornography. It was a really interesting discussion and case that really opened my eyes. A lot of people are more unforgiving than I had thought. I do not condone the use of pornography in any case, but a lot of people said that they would leave a relationship if they found their significant other engaging in related behavior. I was so shocked. Is forgiveness and repentance not a significant foundation in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints? Is it not perfection that we are demanding, but the striving and potential for perfection what we are after? I don't know exactly where I'm going with this, its a little bit of a mature subject, but it really opened my eyes. We watched a video about Ted Bundy and how violent pornography influenced the numerous violent murders he committed. I know that his case is the worst case scenario, but it really brings to light how destructive it can be. If you are interested in this video (which I definitely recommend watching!), it can be found at
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/popups/media_player.aspx?MediaId={710D67E8-7AFB-411F-8A37-503EA8B69B5B} .
Today was also extremely productive and extremely fun, apart from the haircut and interesting class discussion. I found out that my car repairs will not cost as much as I had thought! That was such a blessing. Instead of the engine belt needing replacing, it is just the sensor. Still have to pay a couple hundred dollars to get it replaced, but its' still about half as expensive as a new engine belt. I am so blessed for that! I also went and paid of balances at the community care that I absolutely refuse to ever go to again. I got lunch by myself, and it was delicious. I scheduled an appointment with a new doctor that my psychologist wants me to see. I signed papers at the housing office regarding my financial aid and payment for fall semesters rent. Lots of grown-up business was done today. After all my errand were done, *C* and our new friend *M* went and played Xbox with complete strangers and made even more new friends! It was way fun, I don't know about them, but I really enjoyed myself. I don't know the last time I just had fun with complete strangers, so I know I am getting better emotionally-wise. After we played Rock Band and Kinect for a couple hours, *C* and *M* and I went to BRC and got delicious frozen custard that was to die for. YUM. Then we went to Sammy's and enjoyed a live jazz band. Why are saxophones the sexiest instruments ever? Gah. Seriously. I do not understand. There were some AWESOME musicians there, and I felt very jealous and in love with everyone at the same time. And got a mint oreo pie shake (which is equivalent to love in a cup. no joke).
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| *C* and I at Sammy's |
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| Pie shakes = love. |
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| Way good. Gah. |
I've been pretty good at updating this. I fear that I may be posting too often. But at the same time I fear that I won't post enough. So, if you are nice enough to be reading this, bear with me. I'll get into a steady flow sometime here in the future.
I'm just happy lately. That is the bottom line. I'm feeling more like myself every day. Obviously, there are still bad days and bad moments and negative thoughts, but that is just life and something that I will struggle with as I live my life with anxiety and depression. I am in a good place though. I am able to accept myself and I am learning how to show others the real me and truly allow myself to be accepted. I feel like I have grown so much this past year. Even just this past semester, really.
Tomorrow I have class again, and then I absolutely HAVE to do my laundry: no exceptions. Blah.
Oh! And I get my car back tomorrow! (: <3
Life is good. I'm getting back into the groove of things. I am so blessed. I have the greatest friends. I go to the greatest school. I am part of the most amazing church. I am loved. I am Ciarra.
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